Determination of cat tongue length using the "Beefy Bovril" method

Thomas D Abbott   BSC Elec.Eng (WITS)

The "Beefy Bovril" feline tongue length measurement method has been perfected in the Abbott household, through countless experiments on two cats. This method was developed from the earlier "Creamy Yoghurt" method.

You need two things for this experiment: a cat, and an empty bottle of Beefy Bovril. You don't really need an elephant, but it keeps the bovril company on the shelf when it's not being used in experiments.

Place the cat on the table with the Beefy Bovril.

Oh... you need to open the bottle of Bovril.

The reaction should start spontaneously. If not, your cat may not be compatible with Beefy Bovril, and will need replacement.

Watch closely as the cat uses its tongue (the pink thing visible in the picture above right) to extract remnants of Beefy Bovril from the bottle.

You should now be left with one guilty-looking cat, and your calibrated bottle of Beefy Bovril.

Measure inside the bottle of Beefy Bovril to derermine the maximum cat tongue length.

Note added 9/2002: See also new "White Wine" method.